You Deserve Your Love 21-Day Email Course
Are you always trying to turn your life around, only to end up giving up a few weeks or months into your new lifestyle?
No, you’re not lacking in discipline or willpower.
What you’re most likely need of is self-love.
Self-love is meeting yourself where you are, and supporting yourself in the best way you can, to achieve what you want.
The VAST majority of people with high ambitions try to do the most they can early on, but end up rebuking and shaming themselves when they lag behind.
They kick themselves when they’re down, instead of lifting themselves up when they need help and support the most.
You don’t need that self-flagellation in your life.
Life can be hard as it is, without an inner critic who's constantly judging you.
This 21-day email course is aimed at replacing the critical voice in your head with a compassionate, supportive, and understanding voice that works with you, instead of against you.
I mean, the critic MIGHT want what’s best for you, but it’s going about it in a counterproductive way.
Tough love isn’t loving. It’s tough, and it makes life harder, not easier. It reduces our chances of success, not increase them.
Good intentions are GREAT, but they’re not enough.
They need to be coupled with the right approach, and self-love is a FAR better approach than self-loathing, shame, guilt, ridicule, rebuke, and all the other ways we try to “motivate” ourselves to do better, only to end up feeling worse and doing worse.
The negative downward spiral ends now.
It’s time you become your best friend and your greatest supporter.
It's time to turn the critic into a cheerleader.
It's time to silence the endless chatter of negativity, shame, and blame into a healthy, curious, understanding, and supportive inner dialogue that helps you recognize your strengths, without denying or ignoring your weaknesses (because self-love isn't about self-delusion, but is about honesty, optimism, enthusiasm, and support).
My Story with Self-Love
In late 2019 I experienced a dark chapter in my life.
I felt like I've been consuming personal development content for over 15 years but I truly had nothing to show for all my learnings. I was overweight, my habits were unhealthy, my productivity was in the dumps, and my finances were a mess.
I resented myself for where I was in my life, especially since I had high ambitions for myself and the impact I wanted to have in the world.
Instead of working on myself and supporting myself through that time I looked for the people around me to show me love and validation. But I didn't get the love that I wanted (I mean the love was there, but it wasn't expressed in the attention I was craving from those closest to me).
I became very judgmental of my wife and children and extremely demanding. One day, this insecurity led to me shouting at my wife and throwing the f-bomb in front of my kids. I didn't recognize who I was becoming. I'm usually a kind and considerate person, so how could I explain my behavior?
I realized that I was trying to control other people's behaviors and seeking external validation when what I truly needed to focus on was my relationship with myself.
There was a void in my shape that only I can fill.
So I decided to commit to loving myself and showing myself the love I expected to receive from others. Not only that, but I committed to not judging others because judging others means:
1- I'm taking responsibility for other people's behaviors
2- I'll be applying the same judgmental attitude towards myself
I replaced criticism with curiosity. Instead of rebuking myself for my shortcomings, I showed kindness and support. But it began with simply noticing how I spoke to myself. I didn't butt heads with the negative voice in my head I simply encouraged a more loving tone of communication.
Within 3 weeks, my baseline of happiness was higher and something fundamentally changed inside me. I became a lot calmer, and at peace with myself and the world. I went through 2020 without losing my temper even once (before that, I'd lose my temper at least once or twice a week).
Committing to self-love has been the most transformational experience I've ever had in my life. I went on to experience a major setback in 2021, but I was able to remain calm and collected throughout that challenging period.
Your situation may not be exactly the same as mine and you might need more time (or less time) to experience the transformative power of self-love. This email course is intended to get you up-and-running and to ease into this new mindset that will radically improve every dimension of your life.
2 Popular Approaches Compromising Your Success
There are 2 very popular attitudes in the personal development space right now, and it's worth acknowledging and addressing them upfront:
1- The "I don't want to feel satisfied with myself so that I can continue being ambitious" attitude
2- The "You are already whole and perfect and there's nothing about yourself you should want to change" attitude
The first approach resists self-love. The second approach takes self-love to an unhealthy extreme.
Let's be very clear: Self-love will NOT lead to any compromise whatsoever, but it WILL change the energy with which you approach everything in your life. If you are driven by a sense of insecurity, you will no longer be driven by that. That doesn't mean you will lose your drive. It means you will have another drive to propel you forward.
It could be curiosity, playfulness, the desire for impact (from a place of wholeness), or the eagerness to make the most out of your life and your potential.
You do not need to worry about losing ambition. You MIGHT experience a short drop in motivation as you re-orient yourself to your new fuel source. But I assure you, love is a far better fuel than resentment and insecurity. You will accomplish more and enjoy the journey, as well.
As for the second attitude to personal development: Self-love is NOT about self-delusion. You will not ignore your problems or pretend that "you tried your best" when you didn't (and I honestly can't say I've ever truly tried my best).
BUUUUUT... Just because you didn't try your best or because you have weaknesses that does NOT mean you should be harsh on yourself.
The point is to be honest with yourself and to support yourself along the way.
You're not trying your best? That's fine. Acknowledge that and try to meet yourself where you are to better understand what you're capable of doing and what obstacles might be standing in your way.
Personal development literature that tries to offer you hollow reassurances you don't even believe will only lead to resentment down the road. That's not where we want to end up.
So the self-love I'm advocating will NOT compromise your ambitions and it does NOT rely on self-smothering that leads to self-deception.
What You'll Get
When you sign up you'll receive a welcome email explaining the fundamentals of the course, then 21 daily emails reminding you of your commitment to self-love, explaining a specific aspect of self-love (a benefit, misconception, exercise, etc).
Throughout the course you are only encouraged to:
- Notice how you speak to yourself
- Let go of judging others
- Read the daily emails (which will take no more than 15 minutes of your day)
Everything else included in the emails is bonus.
You are invited to reply to the emails with your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, but you don't have to. I want you to feel like I'm with you on this journey, but I also don't want it to feel burdensome on you to go through the emails.
Reply when you feel ready.
Do an exercise when you feel ready.
Smile. Maybe that will make you feel ready. :)
What I Promise
If you prioritize self-love and work towards cultivating it in your life, every aspect of your life will change. You will:
- Let go of the constant negative mental chatter
- Feel at home with yourself
- Feel like you have a friend to turn to whenever you want
- Be calmer, more observant, more objective (rather than reactive to circumstances)
- Have a greater capacity for empathy (because you'll no longer be caught up in your own mental drama)
- Have greater resilience
- Have a higher baseline of happiness
- Not experience low lows
- Recover a lot faster when you are down
- Find it easier to learn new skills (because you won't be afraid of self-criticism)
You may not be exactly where you want to be within the 3 weeks of the course, but you WILL experience a shift within these 3 weeks. And I will help you define your next steps after the course.
I honestly can't think of a better investment you can make in your own happiness, success, and well-being than establishing a healthy foundation of self-love.
Disclaimers & Setting Expectations
I want you to sign up to this course with the right expectations: cultivating self-love will NOT solve all your problems.
It's the most essential foundation to personal development, life satisfaction, and the pursuit of ambitious goals, but it's only the foundation. You need to build on top of it, based on what's required of you at any given moment.
Think of it this way: self-love is a commitment to eating healthier meals. But you still have to pick the recipes for today's dishes, buy the groceries, and prepare the actual meals.
Self-love will change your relationship with yourself, but you will have to work with yourself to acquire the right knowledge and skills, follow good processes, and take the necessary actions towards the goals you want to achieve in life.
Self-love, alone, is not enough.
It's the lens you'll be able to see the world in and the world you'll see will be a lot more beautiful than a life in constant self-criticism. But you have to decide what you'll do with that new-found clarity, joy, and optimism.
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
There is nothing I would hate more in life than to sell you something that doesn't deliver on its promises. If you don't experience a noticeable difference in your attitude towards yourself you can simply request a full refund, no questions asked.
What Are You Waiting For?
If you have any questions or apprehensions, please don't hesitate to reach out. You can DM me on Instagram @haideralmosawi or use the contact page to reach me.